looking more like Jesus

It's crazy how fast life moves.  It has been over 2 years now that we have been +4 more :)

It has been the hardest and best years of our lives.  its been 8 months since i even had time to sit down and blog a thought :(  but it has been awesome.

another summer has come and gone:

additions have come along:

new road warriors have taken their place:

and another one leaves the nest this week (college bound):

Our life is chaotic and full... but always open to God's prompting of change.  

on saturdays i don't have to sneak up early to have my date with my daddy because everyone is dispersed.  this morning some were at work, some were at haircuts, and some were still in the bed... so it was quite. 

i was sitting in my chair savoring my moments alone with Him when i read these familiar words: Jesus said "For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many."  Mark 10:45

my heart hurt as i let these words sink in. Jesus was walking with His disciples, who knew and loved Him, yet still misunderstood His calling and ultimately their own at the moment. when two of them began to ask for special recognition and positioning.  So the other ten were naturally upset. Jesus had to call them all together and remind them of their roles and His... to give His life as a ransom to pay for everyone's debt of sin. 

this sounds alot like the same world we exist in today: alot of self appointment and jockeying for position.  often spending less time on others because quite frankly it would get in the way of all eyes and attention on me!

what if we really took this story and Jesus' words to heart today as a personal challenge...

serving others as opposed to looking to others to serve us;

actually caring more about others situations than our own comforts;

and behaving as if we believe what we are saying from our mouths.

the world we exist in today really could look different...

 if we chose to invest our lives as Jesus did...   Giving of our lives as servants for others!

 Just maybe... if we were willing to try a change in behaviors

more people would be interested in knowing about the One we are trying 

to look more like.  i think it is worth a try?!

A New Year...

last night i laid in bed tossing and turning until sometime after 3 a.m.

i was assaulted again and again with my failures as a parent.

at one point i left the bed and hit the floor face down before the Lord...

begging for His guidance and relief. 

we have faced so many "NEWS" this past year in parenting.

i cannot count on fingers and toes how many times we have said...

"did that really happen?"

nothing prepared us for the trials we dealt with behind the doors this past year...

but God faithfully walked us through it. 

this year we got a front row seat to the fact that as faithful as our God is... 

the enemy is as equally relentless.

he just keeps shooting arrows in the shadows, hoping for a chance to bring us down,

to tire us out, to bring us low on our belief of a better day.

and for some reason... last night he seemed to have gotten my number. 

how is it you can go from a Christmas morning overwhelmed with gratitude

for all that we have been blessed with: (sorry for the blur)

to laying in bed unable to sleep overwhelmed by failures???

A very real enemy that loves to prey on us.  

God specializes in making beautiful masterpieces out of our messes,

failures and weaknesses.  

and the truth is: the enemy has no real power over me, except what i allow him to have.

i have the chance every second of every day to choose God's voice,

over the world, other people and certainly the enemy. 

Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. 

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

Maybe you don't need a reminder but i sure did as i rolled out of bed this am...

GOD IS ON OUR SIDE.

as we enter into this new year, we can enter it with complete belief that 

He is on our side.  we can cast our burdens onto Him and He will carry them for us!

That is enough to excite me about this brand new year...

 and help me ride the waves of trial as we journey through it :)

Happy 2015!

so very thankful!

i am thankful for a God who loves us...

and for the gift of time He continues to lavish on us!

this holiday season i am focusing on not taking a moment of it for granted :)

i am so thankful for the ability to travel to Guatemala to make new friends...

i am so thankful for those new friends that have a piece of our hearts...

i am thankful for longtime friends we have been blessed with...

i am thankful for laughter around the table...

i am so thankful for food on the table...

and someone to cook it...

and i am incredibly thankful for lots of people to hug through the day...

thankful, thankful, thankful!

 

some days are better than others...

whether a good day or bad one, i am thankful for them all!

 

the joy of seeing that they get it...

we are the family that has more issues and counselors than you can count on one hand.

i spend more than a few hours in varying principals offices in a week.

we are constantly in the spotlight (and not a positive one).

we come in a pack and we are chaotic and noisy.

yep, you know who we are :)

there have been times that not only have i doubted we would arrive at graduation from HS,

or movement to the next grade, but i have doubted arriving to a new dawning of the day. 

we are, have been and will continue to be a mess.

How thankful i am that i serve a God that "messes" are His specialty.  

i have clung to the verse over the years from Proverbs 22:6:

"Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old

he will not depart from it."

all the tears, frustration, crazy creative discipline, prayer,

prayer meetings and counseling sessions are all cherished 

all the mornings, afternoons and evenings of dragging them along 

to serve others as they rolled eyes, fussed and complained

are also funny memories now...

as i look into the lives of our growing children. 

perfect?  are you kidding?  

good behavior? depends on the day.

attitude?  constant struggle!

developing into their own person?  absolutely!

 and i continue to cling to the verse :)

i don't know what happens tomorrow, and i don't need to,

because honestly all i can hold on to is the present, which is today.

and for today it is fun to watch them choose to follow in some passions of our heart.  

i find joy following jordyn as God grows her up an ocean away as 

she serves the children of Guatemala with an open heart and attentive ear.

i find joy watching skyler as she chooses to use her gifts to give to others...
and seek to know Him more as she serves. 

i find joy sitting in morning prayer time and watching each of our kids as they are
working through their own belief system.
some have had longer to watch and be actively involved in serving others, prayer and
 talks about the Lord and are now choosing their own way.
others don't have as much time under their belt, so we continue to train!

we all live life each day as an example to watching eyes and impressionable hearts! 
some of what i've taught, i wish i could take back.
other things, i'm grateful they grabbed hold of!

letting go.. is never easy!

dropping my 18 year old at the airport this am was hard.

not because she is not ready... because she is... not because it was early... although it was...

but because it was time to let go!

 

letting go is hard, especially to something i hold dear...

even if its time :)

jordan is a gift.  a gift given by God the Father.  

a gift never intended for me to keep, but to raise up in His ways...

and then to let go, so He could take her further than i ever could. 

she has landed in guatemala and her new life journey has begun.  

watch for updates at www.journeywithjordyn.blogspot.com.

 

please keep her in your prayers as she seeks to know Him more!

learning to love well...

i constantly think about what i want to be when i grow up...

and i find that most often... my answers look alot like my children. 

as messed up, confused and frustrating as they can be...

i couldn't be more proud of them. 

we are one year and a half behind our last adoption 

and it is beginning to feel a little settled again. 

everyone (including me) is learning how to love one another...

in the way that speaks to them.

this kind of love can be overwhelming, because,

 it often doesn't feel normal and comes at a cost.

it is taxing, tiring and down right hard at times...

but it is worth it. 

the last few months have ran together...

in august... all eight went in 4 different directions.

patrick to back to birmingham southern

jordan preparing for her internship in guatemala

5 to private school

and one to public school:

 and skyler turned 15 and started driving:

then jordan and i traveled with a group to Haiti to love on the babies:

in september stephen turned 15:

 and jordan decided God was leading her to mississippi college after guatemala:

 

and now its october and emily just turned 13:

 and jordan leaves tomorrow for her internship!

in each and every situation and life circumstance...

loving has looked different. 

we haven't done it perfect, or in some cases even great,

however, we did do it!

we have loved the best we know how...

the only way we know how...

with time and presence...

laughter and tears...

joy and sorrow...

chocolate and caffeine...

hugs and kisses...

lots of counseling...

Holding onto to Jesus day by day! 

we still have lots to learn...

but we are willing students :)

 

Stop It!

is tomorrow really august... stop it!

is next week the start up of another school year... stop it!

is fall weather and football around the corner... stop it!

had any of these thoughts lately... me too... so to both of us... stop it!

biblically we are told that we are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

so why is it that i am so surprised when time flashes by? i don't know but i am.

as we sat and talked to our three youngest last night about the rules of phones,

i couldn't help wonder where the year had gone!

this time last year our entire house was in an uproar...

we were all frustrated with language barriers,

private space issues, teenage drama, cultural walls...

and i will drop the list there (you get the gist).

and now we are talking phone etiquette... stop it!

last summer, God graced us with two new daughters.

the summer before that, He graced us with two sons.

and this year He graced us with an amazing group of encourager's,

supporters and co-laborers to help those in situations like theirs

find a different home setting at the end of long days.

true, it has been a whirlwind the last few years...

what others might consider chaos, we have learned to refer to as our life.

we figure God orchestrated it, so we can withstand it :)

so just for a quick update since i think i blinked and the days jumped from May to July...

Jordan graduated:

the girls never tire of having their picture made:

we always travel with a guest (usually several):

we've made new friends:

we've celebrated with old friends:

and we've made incredible memories... to be passed thru the generations...

while time passes by quickly and we never fail to make incredible memories,

there is also something else we feel compelled, as a family of believers, to never fail to do...

"never become weary of doing good", "do good to all people",

and "do to others what you would have them do to you".

transparently i have to say there was a period in my life that 

i perceived these biblical commands as sort of an idea more than a command. 

that was... until God in His sovereignty introduced me to others 

that lived by these commands much more than talked of these commands. 

and i was hooked. i wanted to be more like the Jesus i saw in them!

i could hear my insides screaming... that's it... stop it!

stop wasted movement and wasted time...

stop wasted conversation and wasted resources!

i am sure this doesn't speak to you... but for me,

i have wasted so much... and quite honestly i really don't want to anymore.

i want to go to bed at night completely spent on what matters most...

PEOPLE!

i want to run harder, love deeper and give more than ever before...

because that is what Jesus did!

i want to cast away judgment about who deserves or doesn't deserve...

because that is what Jesus did!

i want to rid of trivial conversations and talk of life transformation, 

because that is what Jesus did!

i want to give my will, wandering and way to the Father,

because that is what Jesus did!

and my greatest desire is to be more like Jesus!.

while i still have so much to learn and so far to go...

there is one thing i am absolutely sure of... others must be placed before my comforts...

because if this weren't true there wouldn't be a CROSS in Jesus' story. 

while my days run together and i certainly don't have time to blog much,

i have put all i have and am into investing in people.

and i just have to say, it is AMAZING!

while days of tutoring, doctors, orthodontists, counseling, sporting events

and full time ministry can become overwhelming, they are never unbearable...

because through Him who gives me strength, i can do all things!

how about you?  are there things that should or could be stopped...

so others could learn through you about His love?

putting your all at His feet and letting Him orchestrate your days,

regardless of how uncomfortable they can get... is absolutely worth it...

that is what Jesus did!

Believing...

you know i've honestly never quite understood negativity.

but even more so after i began traveling extensively.

here in the reality we live in, there is always help...

we just have to figure out where it is and how we get to it.

there is:

no one too far gone...

no one not good enough...

no one beneath our help...

no one unworthy of our time...

NO, NOT ONE!

as i look into the faces of the treasures God has given us...

 my heart breaks at a deeper level...

 

the apparent level of my unconscious selfishness

(well let's be realistic, somewhere in there i am aware)

continues to bubble to the surface.

choosing to enter into their life journey with them...

has FOREVER changed mine.

its changed how we spend time, resources, energies,

and even who we spend them with.  

as we see our family grow together, pray together,

cry together, laugh together and learn together...

God changes us!

the past few years have been the hardest,

yet most rewarding we've ever been through. 

as we have learned about our treasures pasts...

it has made us plummet deeper into the crisis

of many women and youth in our sphere, 

 believing to our core that 

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!

as i look at these pictures i celebrate the smiles

and remember every time someone said it was impossible...

every time someone sneered...

or simply wasn't interested at all...

women and children all over the place 

need God's people to believe

that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD

and

that NO ONE IS UNWORTHY of our time!

as i face my busy day today preparing for 

mothers day weekend...

it brings me to think of those that could use 

some encouragement as they are not facing the

same kind of weekend!

maybe in our excess we could reach out to them to share...

i believe without a doubt that is what Jesus would do!

Second Chances...

i don't have to read far in the Bible to understand that

God is a God of second chances.  

as i was studying in God's story through the life of Joshua today,

i was reviewing my notes when i read these words...

"Our failures do not define our future, our God does."

as the truth echoed through my head, tears formed in my eyes.

God is so gracious and good!

there is not another that has failed more than me. 

i lived many years in the pit, ruled by lies...

but my God in His goodness raised me up from the pit and

cloaked me in white robes!

AND...

as if that were not enough;  as undeserving as i am...

He said i will still use you!

 

This weekend He allowed me to watch on the front row

as all of our remaining treasures entered the waters 

clothed in white robes and proclaimed 

HOW VERY GOOD GOD IS!

 I am so grateful for a Father who does not give up on us!