To be quite honest...

Well i have to admit this weekend ushered in some moments i wasn't ready for.  Nobody was home from Thursday on but me and Gracie (and we had a ball picnicing, bicycling, feeding ducks and just being girls). However, around Sat afternoon she was ready for someone that played her way!  So she invited a spend the night guest.  So while they were playing i had time to ponder the situation for a moment, and to be quite honest i wasn't prepared for some of the feelings that rose up. 

in my mind the boys would already be here (i am sure the Lord is getting a chuckle about now).  i had already figured it all out in my head and i guess i had (without realizing it) allowed my heart to attach to the notion as well.  i thought that i'd be celebrating mother's day with my two sons here, sleeping in their beds, hearing thier sleepy voices early Sunday morning, but instead we are still an ocean apart. 

Understand that i know God's timing is perfect and i completly trust Him, but i had a hard time telling my heart to understand that on Saturday afternoon.  I longed for them and hurt for them all in the same moment.  I longed for them to have a home, to belong to a family, to have someone to call mom.  I hurt for them to have a family who loves them and to feel a sense of belonging.  And as i poured it out before the Lord, a still small voice spoke very clearly to me, "Not yet!" and a peace fell back over my soul. 

And as i pulled myself together a remembrance came over me, God loves them more than me;  He's got this under control.  i quickly got back to enjoying the moment i had been blessed with and left the details to God. 
And to be quite honest, it was FREEING!

Oh i forgot to tell, Skyler had the blessing of being invited by a dear friend to travel to the Kentucky Derby.  They had tickets close to the finish line, she was estactic!  She met the owner and jockey of Secretariat (gotta see the movie if you don't know who i am talking about!) It was quite an experience for her !

God Bless you and your family!  LeAnn