One step closer

Well a new day has come into full view and we know nothing about what is happening on the other side.  We haven't heard a single word in a week.  But just maybe we are growing one step closer in seeing this as God would have us see it.  i don't know the answers... i am not expected to.  i don't know what is next... i am not expected to.  i don't even know what to do next... i am not expected to.  i am to abide in Him, to love Him more and through that love others... that is all i am really capable of. 

What God is teaching me through this all is humbling and incredibly life changing.  I have been blessed way beyond what i deserve and well beyond what i can even understand.  As i look around me sitting here in my house, typing on my computer - i am awed by God's goodness, yet reflective as i hold God's Word in my lap.  I never want to fall short of His commands, His calling, of acting out on His heart.  Where there is much blessing, much is expected.  I don't know if i have ever allowed that to sink in as deep as it should until recently.  Why?  Well if i was REALLY Truthful...  i really don't want to be challenged on my comforts.  We have a pretty good set up here...  and by all worldly standards if its not broken why fix it.  That all worked for me until a year ago in a little orphanage many miles away. 

And since that very day God has been breaking every piece of pretense in me.  Every thought, every motive, every behavior has been challenged.  As i place each one before scripture i find some lacking places in my walk with the Lord.  See i am really good at wanting to "Know Him more" until it takes me outside the walls of my comforts.  As i pray for revival... God continues to point it back at me.  As i pray for believers to take a radical stance... God continues to point it back at me.  As i pray for God to break down the chains that bind us... God continues to point it back at me.  It really hurts to take a hard look at myself and see how many times i behave like the Pharisees.  Well that statement was not actually true, it is more accurate if i said most of my days i have acted just like them.  Knowing what is right but spitting it at people more than loving it into them.  I can't do it anymore. 

This journey with the Lord has changed me forever.  I don't want to be the shell of the woman i was a year ago; doing the "God thing" just enough, until it becomes too wierd, too radical, too threatening to others here in the states.  Honestly i'm a little sick of status quo anyway.  And it's tiring to boot!

There is an abundance God offers that i haven't even begun to scratch the surface of and i am eager to get started.  I have put on my "Big Girl, Wierd, Radical panties"  and i am on my way.  Eager to please the Lord and caring little about what others think about it.

See when i read things like:  Jesus said:
*"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."  Mark 10:45
*"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."  Matthew 25:40
*"Do to others as you would have them do unto you." Luke 6:31
*"Whoever serves me must follow me; and where i am, my servant also will be.   My Father will honor the one who serves me."  John 12:26

it causes me to review my actions.  I am called to serve, and that includes all people and to treat them as i would want to be treated.  To go outside of my comfort zone and be all things to all people.  That has not been the driving force of my life, it has been much more about "doing just enough", never too much though.

Well that is just not enough anymore.  I really do want to give my life as a ransom, to surrender with no "clauses", to go with God wherever, whenever and however.  Sound radical?  Sounds like freedom to me!

I was watching Lifetoday this morning and my heart was ripped out as they were showing clips of children being trafficked.  God help us as our society is at an all time low.  As tears poured down my face i realized i am called to be part of the solution as long as i still have breath here on earth.  I, as a believer, am called to be a worldchanger.  i can spend my life saying one day... when i have more money... or more time or... fill in the blank... i'll do something and i can waste my whole life away, or i can begin now.  So i choose now. i have been given much therefore i have much to do with it.

Someone said "If you want to change the world, change the life of a child."  As i looked into the sweet face of my baby girl this morning that turned 8 today my prayer for her was "Lord let her get you now as a young child in ways that i am just now discovering.  Grab her heart, give her a desire to be a worldchanger in your name!"  What a birthday gift that would be!

That was alot of words to say... i don't know where we are in the process and i don't know what today holds much less tomorrow... but i do know the One who holds today.  And regardless of what is ahead, He is worth it!  Whatever the picture of our future looks like - Glory to God!  I believe whatever comes it is just taking us one step closer to Knowing Him more!

Thanks for joining arms with us in this journey!  LeAnn