Well what now?

There is really no change in the situation, but certainly there is in our hearts.  Personally and honestly, my heart was torn out, ran over and laid to the side yesterday.  My hearts desire is truly to walk on the path the Lord has laid out for me. Everything whirling in my head is so contrary to my normal behaviors.  God has me on a journey. 

I pictured my middle daughter being asked the very "grown up" question yesterday: if she would take a better life knowing that her siblings would not be traveling with her.  Whoa, i cannot imagine the feelings that would accompany that decision.  I need the Lord to direct me in this all, i do not want my humanity in the way of His perfect plan. 

We have cried, we have been praying, we are seeking as i type!  We give God all glory that He is even allowing us to be a part of what is happening in these childrens' lives. 

As i sat at the Father's feet yesterday i felt alot like Peter as Jesus asked Him, "do you love me?"  See i made a promise 13 months ago to the Lord that whatever it took i'd see this through.  Sometimes when we get to the actual act we begin to count the cost and embarrasingly that is where i sat yesterday as the possibilities began to lay before me.  Sometimes when the rubber meets the road the cost is more than we anticipated.  Is God worth it, you bet He is. 

So... with that said we are praying over what this week will bring to the table and what exactly that means for the family. 

Before i began to write this morning, i went to http://www.kissesforkatie.blogspot.com/.  This is a blog i have followed for a very long time and i  looked once again at the entry entitled "Full Circle".  I needed a fresh reminder that our yes must stay yes even if at the end of the day His plan and what we thought ours was doesn't quite match. 

God's call on Jesus' life was costly, why would i think mine would be any different!  I am looking forward to seeing what our family looks like when God's plan completely unfolds.  Pray for us as we continue to move forward in it all.  I will keep you posted as soon as i know anything!