God's plan is best!

so much for our Christmas in Brazil... truth is, it is probably not on the horizon since our original documents haven't made it to Brazil yet :)  although this is not the plan i wanted or prayed for... i know God's plan is better and that all things are working for the BEST for all involved!

in my time with the Lord early this morning, before those in the house began to stir, i read out of a devotional by Oswald these words:

"All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don't ever have to think they are unnatural or unique.  God, by His providence, brings you into circumstances that you can't understand at all but the Spirit of God understands." 

i had been pondering this all day when all of a sudden i had an aha moment and the truth of this statement really sunk in... all my girls, the ones God has uniquely placed into my life today, were gathered around the table studying Porteguese (the language that my other children speak)... and my eyes filled with tears... what a gift...

see i was NEVER having kids.  my mom teases me constantly about my stance all through my younger years; i was rebellious and terrible, mean and unkind and totally self absorbed.  i was filled with the ridiculous idea that i didn't want the headache... how it breaks my heart today to think about it!  i am so grateful that even through my stubborness, God did not give up on me!

He had a plan, He was always working behind the scenes.  as much as i wish i could wash some years of rebellion away... that i could rinse some memories down the drain forever... those years of heartache and brokenness are what brought me to my knees as a beggar before the Lord.  

as He began to break me... the dam of self absorption began to dissolve some (i wish all, but that's far from the truth)!  and i began to love from a depth i had not known before...  my desires changed and my attitudes softened. 

as i look into the faces of those gathered around the table, i am so grateful that i am not in control and never have been!  i am so thankful for a better plan... HIS PLAN!

God absolutly loves my Brazilian babies WAY MORE than i do.  and He is working out thier future for an eternal purpose, one that is WAY BETTER then i can dream up or imagine.  so although i don't know the plan today, tomorrow, this month or the remainder of this year, HE DOES... and it is the BEST!

I am so grateful for an all knowing God!!  LeAnn