i was on a field trip yesterday at the space and rocket center when the call came...
after hearing the verdict, i would have to say my heart grieved greatly, and the pent up tears almost began to flow. (see... truth is: even though i had prayed intently for GOD'S WILL TO BE DONE, at the end of the day i wanted my way). but... all said and done the copied papers were NOT enough, no match was made.
God had planned ahead for this moment though... as i was literally trying to draw a breath, trying to hold it together yet again... amazing friends stepped in immediately... they surrounded me, joined hands and did all we had available to us to do... Anissa prayed God's strength and covering through it all. then my girlfriends took my kids and urged me onward in the battle... and so i found myself, yet again off to find papers and get them scanned and this time fed exed to South America in hopes the judge would change his ruling soon.
as i crawled in my car in the parking lot i almost lost my resolve... but i stated outloud in a broken voice... THE ENEMY HAS NO PLACE HERE, I WILL PRAISE HIM! So i turned up the worship music and sang outloud as tears of pain stayed tucked in their ducts and words of truth ministered to my aching heart. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! after alot of stops i finally made it to the fed ex office in time to get them sent out. EVERYTHING in my flesh said go home, whine, complain, stomp your feet and lick your wounds, BUT not in my spirit... the words i heard speaking over my aching heart were... DO NOT GROW FAINT... DO NOT GROW WEARY OF DOING GOOD... DO NOT GIVE UP NOR GIVE IN... SPEAK LOUD MY TRUTH!!
so i headed on to target to get the fixings for a game night at friends, came home prepared the food and went with a smile on my face...
i told the story countless times, (the exact reason i didn't want to go) yet... what i found was that with each new person i shared with... the resolve grew stronger. see everytime i shared through the night it reminded me of how blessed i am... it reminded me of the truth: that God NEVER gave up on me... HE never grew tired of pursuing and fighting for me... He never grew tired of the heartaches or the pains that were part of the process... as He was seeking to ADOPT ME INTO HIS FOREVER FAMILY, He NEVER QUIT on me!! (and I am SO GRATEFUL!)
this new mountain i found myself standing at the base of yesterday has presented our family with yet another opportunity of choice... will we fight or complain, get better because of the hurdles or get bitter?? it is our choice...
so after many hours this morning in quiet time on bended knee... with the ONLY ONE that can give me the strength and resolve to move onward... (and check out my friends surrounding me, how good is our God :)
the choice has been made... with new resolve... i choose to not GIVE UP... and not only do i choose, but i will fight with a spring in my step and a smile on my face because it is today as God says it is... can i just say with new meaning... watch out enemy I AM READY! He is worthy!! LeAnn
LeAnn--Be encouraged that through the pain, tears, frustration, and every other emotion, He is still in control. One of the songs I clung to during some of our most difficult days was, "I will serve You while I'm waiting...". That gave me hope, b/c when I was tempted to despair, He reminded me that it was not about me, it was about Him, and there were still things I needed to do during the waiting. One last thing, last night after a minor inconvenience when technology wasn't cooperating for our Secret Church simulcast, when it finally worked, He whispered to my heart...I am not slow in keeping my promises, as some count slowness....I am never early, I am never late, I am always right on time. Hang in there, sweet sister; praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much and I was reminded this morning that often God is doing something better than we could have imagined when He says "Wait!" Thankfully He loves those sweet boys more than you do! I'm still praying.
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