Feelings?!

everyday someone asks about our family... the size, the adaption, the struggles...

so let me go ahead and clear the air...  it is BIG!

 

our house is obnoxiously loud, we are late to everything, because we don't have enough seats...

or too many of their things start at the same time... or we cant find what they need.. the list goes on. 

 

i remember in my smugness when i used to glance at "that mom"

and think wow, she needs to get it together... well let me say it for you... THAT IS ME!

i glance around often and think what happened?

 

i often travel in a baseball cap, because i cannot make it to the shower...

i am constantly the one being reminded about the things i need to make or bring...

because once again i didn't check my email. 

and at almost any given time you can walk in my house and my exquisite dining table is full...

of undergarments, computers or a plethora of other uninteresting things i could list. 

 

we used to spend at least one night a weekend with friends... yeah we don't make the invite anymore...

i used to enjoy lots of  grownup conversation over lunches with the ladies... not so often anymore...

i used to send notes of encouragement to people often... can't even find the note cards now...

why... because life has simply changed!

 

we have been home from our last trip to Brazil for almost 5 months...

 and we are just now beginning to adjust to our once again new normal...

which has truly just been hard!

 

this week was particularly tough .. the last 5 started school... and activies :)

and quite honestly i have to admit i have been feeling pretty overwhelmed and wimpy!

 

so Dad above orchestrated a sit down for he and i this morning... like for hours!

(the boys are at an out of town tournament...

the little girls are at a friends, as is the middle one... and the olders are upstairs with friends).

an i have to admit, i didn't know how bad i needed an attitude adjustment until i got up:)

 

so i was pouring my heart out to Him about "having joy" and He prompted me to look

back at my journal last year from the same day.... and here is what the first lines said,

 

"If you are making excuses for why you are not experiencing an abundant joyful life,

determine today to settle for nothing less than God's best for your life.  Stop

following the world's way of finding satisfaction.  Instead listen to the Saviors voice and you

will find true fulfillment."  Exp God

 

uggggh!  it hit me right in the heart of my feelings! i was whining again!

i literally could hear Him speaking all around me...

which in layman terms would sound something like this...

"LeAnn don't focus on your feelings, they are way overrated...

focus on what i am filling you up with.  Abide in me and i will give you joy.

The world doesn't feed you, i do... lean into me, i will give you rest!"

Just what i needed to hear!! 

 

it never ceases to amaze me that, no matter how whiny or selfish i am being...

 i serve a heavenly daddy that will meet me right where i am and give me an

opportunity to get my heart and obedience back on track! 

 

so with a heart full of gratitude and no longer wimpy feelings...

i can say loudly and proudly life is an incredible adventure right now...

not one day looks the same!!

 

when i can't seem to find my "happy" i will do just as the Lord instructed me this morning...

I WILL REMEMBER...

 

that God has blessed us with the gift of family, friends and laughter!!

 

 

that so many do without daily! Be thankful!!

 

that love is priceless,  so many would give anything to have what we have!!

 



 

We are blessed beyond what we deserve!! (dogs and all!)

 

 

when i'm tempted to whine about being overwhelmed, challenged or exhausted...

 i will choose instead to REMEMBER!

 

God's aware and got this! 

He tolds you and i friend in the palm of His hand.

Maybe today is a great day for you to hit memory lane too!

 

don't let the world tell you that FEELINGS are what we should act out on...

instead trust in the Lords FILLING!

He will provide for you if only you will choose today to

BE STILL AND ABIDE IN HIM!