Wednesday, February 22, 2012

just for the record...

ok so today i sent our last BOOK of paperwork to our adoption agency to forward to the consulates office in Atlanta... Praise the Lord!  if all goes well (now if you've journeyed with us any amount of time you hear me laughing) by monday of next week we should be in our final countdown :)

however, what we originally thought was a wait of 30 days we now know could be anywhere from 30 to 60 days upon their receipt before we are allowed to travel... 

so either way... how many ever days it takes, we are beginning to see the rain slow down and the sun coming up on the horizon... i felt a little like this as i skipped out of the ups office today...

my umbrella all tucked away for now... for later use... with the rainstorm we'll weather with the next adoption process...

can't wait to share more with you soon!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

a smile...

i heard a man say today on the christian radio station... "let your smile change the world, don't let the world change your smile"... i love it and agree with it!  a smile really can make a difference!

after having a phone conference with our agency on thursday i was a tad bit bummed... not because i doubt God's in control (i know He is)... but because i had already decided in my little "pea brain" what they were going to tell me during the conference :)

i know NONE of you do this, but... i can create a whole scenario in my head and believe it... so i knew before our meeting what they were going to say... but the reality of it is... they didn't say it... instead here is what they said... "we can get your paperwork ready to file next week, but it could still take up to 2 months to hear a definite travel plan... UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG... they obviously weren't in my head during story time, or they would have known it didn't go like that!

so thur eve (scott was out of town) the girls and i curled up on the couch for a night of our fav show... "seventh heaven"  only pausing to watch american idol... and then we resumed for several episodes :) we ate lots of junk and laughed... but at bedtime my heart was still a little bummed!

friday am i had to run out early to the dr and then by a friends... but when i got home i entered the house (still nursing silently an achy heart) and this is what i saw...

smiles that light up the room... smiles that changed my morning... smiles that i believe God gave us to use as a gift to others... their smiles changed my mood!  their sweet smiles made me refocus on all the good God had blessed me with, instead of the storyline i had created and was sad that hadn't happened!  Jesus gave His life so i'd be blessed with life... i have LOTS to smile about!

a kind loving smile really can change the attitude of others around us... which can change the atmosphere around us... which can begin to change the world around us... by affecting one person at a time! 

we will be celebrating a reunion with our boys soon and i will be posting pictures of their sweet faces for you to see... that thought is definitely worth smiling about!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

life is messy...

the other day i put a cake on the table, an open container of icing beside it and a spreader in it... nodded towards Gracie and mouthed... "have a good time, it's all you :)"  with wide eyed amazement the other members of our clan watched... once finished i snapped a photo of the the finished product... a masterpiece!

(what you cannot see in the pic is all the pieces of the torn up cake :) mixed in with the icing!) 

now if truth be told... by others standards it probably wasn't the prettiest cake ever iced, but to us it was... we could of guided her hand and steadied the spreader... but we didn't...  we could of stood over her and corrected her technique... but we didn't... we liked it as it was...  and REALLY how much fun is perfect anyway??  underneath all that mess... it was amazing!

i'm beginning to believe this in life as well... how much fun is perfect anyway?  it is WAY OVERRATED!

i am embarrassed to admit... but for a lot of years we tried to put on the perfect front... allowing others to see the perfect house, perfect clothes, perfect smile, perfect yard, perfect marriage, perfect kids... what a JOKE!  we protected our perfection with as much comforts and security as money could buy... keeping most at arms length because what would they think of our chaos and mess...

well we got over it... we are one BIG OL MESS!  AND TRUTHFULLY WE LOVE IT!  it so freeing to just let others in... to let them see the big, the fat and the ugly of it all... the imperfections of us and our kids and our household... the trials and the tribuations... our mistakes and our faults... the ridiculous chaos of our home! 

and you know what we've found... as imperfect as it all is... no one would doubt that ours is a house full of love and lots of laughter... and a STRIVING to live out the gospel... although we fall short and in our humanity cause a lot of mess... we are certain of, and cling to, the fact that without Jesus we are nothing, but with Him something good can come from our imperfections!

the messiness of this adoption has been SO amazing!  i know that is a wierd statement... but i mean it... it has been hard, emotional, overwhelming, tiring and exciting all at the same time!  without the many mountains we have had to climb and continue to scale i know i would not have clung to the Lord so hard... so i can say with certainty that the mess has been worth it... i wouldn't trade a minute of it... because underneath all the mess, the unpredictability, the uncertainty and the wait... God has been working on a masterpiece... a heart that is closer in tune with His!

we are coming to the cross roads in this journey... we are about to go from planning the adventure to embarking on it... and honestly... it is a little scary what lies ahead!  within the next two weeks we are supposed to have everything done to file our last papers... so soon we should have some kind of travel idea:)  so God in HIS INFINITE WISDOM has decided we need more time to prepare for our family reunion...  as hard as it is... He knows best and we rest in that!

the only thing i can say for sure today as our journey begins to take a turn is this... our boys lives are MESSY... so they'll fit perfectly into our MESS of a family... how good is our God!!!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

there are good days and then...

sorry i haven't updated... i was in London last week and it was an AMAZING trip...  we returned thursday to this at the airport...

so please hear me when i say I AM SO BLESSED!  i KNOW this with my whole being... so i went to bed thursday eve with a light heart and then i woke up on friday :) 

friday was my oldest adoptive son's 13th birthday... and i don't have to tell you the plain true fact: we are STILL not together...  nothing has happened since the last update... there is still the mishap of the missing paperwork... so, it was a hard day...  i could tell you i cried, yelled, stomped my feet or some other possibility... but i didn't.... i just sat quietly before the Lord with a grateful heart.

it's not to say that my emotions weren't all over the place... or that it wasn't HARD to focus on all that is good... because both are true... BUT something i've learned about life is some days are good and some are not, However, in both GOD IS ABSOLUTELY THE SAME.... GOOD ALL THE TIME!

so here's what i've chosen to do... i'm going to choose to keep praying, trusting, and believing... because HIS PLAN IS PERFECT!

maybe, just maybe... there will be movement this week, ONLY HE KNOWS!  LeAnn