blessed!

i am so overwhelmed with God's graciousness and provisions...

AND

thankful for you the hands He used to work through!

i have to be honest that when

my sweet friend Angela asked about organizing a mini-drive

entitled "blessings for Brazil"...

my mind thought... a couple of walmart bags full of groceries

and some perfectly good hand me downs out of houses around here...

I HAD NO IDEA!!

please know that EVERYTHING each of you has done

matters immensely!

i may never get the chance to sit across

from each of you that have sacrificially given

to our family...

(buying groceries for us to take...

washing twin sheets to deliver ready to pack...

cleaning out suitcases so we could have them

or buying ones so we would have enough...

shopping all over for household items we need...

i could keep going...

this pic does not do it justice)

but know that we have been greatly impacted!

WE ARE SO GRATEFUL

THAT GOD MOVED ON YOUR HEARTS

TO BLESS US, 

THANK YOU!

update for today is...

we are still waiting on alot of pieces to fall into place

before we can travel... so we are back in the wait!

please continue to pray Chloe and Emily
as we wait on God's timing :)

Erik is adjusting well...

and we've now officially begun Stephen's process.

thanks for hanging with us through

all the turns and detours,

we need you our prayer warriors!

Cloudy and confusing, but perfect...

we have an incredibly unique family :)

we are stretched in alot of directions,

just like many of you...

i have a stepson Patrick that lives 30 min away...

then i have 3 daughters, Jordan, Skyler and Gracie in the home...

so there has been / and is lots of pink and dancing...

then God introduced me to my (then) 11 yr old...

an ocean away,

that took 2 yr and 5 mo to bring home...

who is now very much a 13 yr old boy!

and in the wait God very unexpectedly

(kinda like a stork moment)

brought me my very confused 12 yr old son...

literally to my car door :)

And if it were not confusing enough...

God united my heart while in Brazil for 45 days

with my beautiful 15 yr old girl Chloe...

and my adorable 10 yr old Emily...

lots of change in the blink of an eye!!

it is God's perfect plan...

and i DO NOT DOUBT it for a minute...

but let me be truthful...

IT IS HARD!

people say...

"how do you do it?"

easy... "uhhhhhh GOD"

people say...

"how are y'all handling it?"

easy... "uhhhhhhh GOD"

people say...

"oh, y'all are so kind!"

"uhhhhhhhhhh  No we are not...

it is ALL GOD!!

When i read in the Bible

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

i take it literal!!

With Him in me...

I CAN DO ALL THINGS!!

even on the days when everything gets all cloudy and confusing...

and i want to throw in the towel...

God is accomplishing His perfect plan...

His only requirement of me...

 is to be willing and obedient to His voice!

so that in my broken pitiful state...

HE CAN SHOW HIMSELF PERFECT!

please pray as we pursue the homecoming of our girls...

and adjust to all our change...

thanks for walking this thing through with us...

God knew how much i needed you all!

i will update you soon on the plan!

Just enough is not enough...

just enough Jesus is probably where i have been most of my walk...

wow.. that is hard enough to think...

but even more excruciating to write.

going back to status quo... where just enough Jesus is the norm

is no longer ok with me!

i want to be so much more in Him!!

how does that happen??

i don't know...

all i can say is that i am free falling now...

i have let go of so much i once thought was important...

and have completely jumped the cliff holding on to nothing but Him!!

I DON'T WANT JUST ENOUGH JESUS!

I WANT ALL OF HIM!

every radical, crazy, unnormal, unselfish,

sacrificial, giving part of Him...

i want it all!!

Radically Wrecked?!?!

so it's been a week since the last update....

because i am simply trying to wrap my mind around my emotions...

which have been all over the place.

i just have to be honest and say...

God used a 47 day visit to another country...

a 47 day visit outside my comforts...

a 47 day visit into millions of others

(that have been abandoned, deemed unlovable or overlooked)

everyday reality...

TO RADICALLY WRECK MY WORLD!

i truly will never be the same.

i have never known the richness of God SO CLOSE

as when i was bent low, lost to self,

 caring for those others had chosen to overlook.

please understand i am not saying it from a prideful place...

because God knows that i am SELFISH...

 and only did as He commanded!!

i am saying it from a broken place...

a place that has been exposed by God's goodness and grace!!

i never knew how selfish i was until God in His sovereignty

sent me many miles away to

face my need for excess

at the expense of anothers emptiness!

my heart aches!

SO WHAT NOW?

i am sitting before my Creator awaiting His response :)

WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE TRUTHS...

i no longer find joy in mapping out my days ahead and

asking for His stamp of blessing...

i no longer find satisfaction in sitting in my comfy

chair sipping from my bottled water while

millions of undeserving others have no clean water...

i no longer find joy in running to the mall to buy more clothes

when i have a closet of too many.. and i just had eyes on many with only

the ones on their backs... 

i have come face to face with the emptiness of excess...

the very life i've created...

but not so proud of any longer!

as i was pondering all these thoughts...

i picked up a book...

(one of the MANY purchased yet laying beside my bed gathering dust)

by Jenn Hatmaker, entitled Interrupted...

i flipped open to a page and here is what i read...

"Forty percent of the world lacks basic water sanitation, resulting in disease, death, waste water for drinking and loss of immunity: Americans spent $16 billion on bottled water in 2008."

all i kept hearing in my Spirit again and again as i read these words is...

LeAnn...

 The greatest commandment is...

LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL YOU ARE

AND

LOVE OTHERS AS YOURSELF...

CAN YOU DO THAT??

My answer...

I SURE WANT TOO LORD... BUT I AM SELFISH,

PLEASE CHANGE ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT!! 

to truly love others the way i believe the Bible commands me...

is going to take some radical changing on my part...

and every piece of my humanity screams NO,

while the Spirit within me pushes me onward!!

to have tasted the deep richness of the Lord...

while in Brazil...

 living in the trenches with those abandoned and destitute...

 that He deems in such high regard,

has left me "wanting" upon my return to my comforts.

so as much as my humanity has loved having my comforts...

as much as i love my bed, my home and all that i know...

my Spirit is screaming for the closeness i knew when all was removed...

SO... given the choice before me...

i will choose to relinquish my comforts

for knowing Him more...

there is nothing else that even comes close!!

the kids and i will leave on August 3rd

for an extended stay to help Chloe and Emily...

find their way home...

not just worldly home....

their eternal forever home!!

and work in the shelters with many others

as God leads us to help them as well!

please pray that we would listen close

and He guides us!!

 

Our new normal, for today anyway :)

so we finally made it home on thursday mid afternoon...

it was quite a ride getting here... but a treat once we arrived! 

we were greeted with hugs and smiling faces, posters, and...

Sonic tea :)

i CANNOT even begin to express our gratitude!

we were beat down, tired, weary and overwhelmed...

and God gave us the perfect treat...

YOU, our friends, at the airport to be Jesus with skin on...

THANK YOU!!!

it has been almost 72 hours and i have still not...

washed all the clothes,

 unpacked the bags,

found all the paperwork,

or even settled back in...

BUT...

 we have done what is important...

spent time with people!!

thank you so much for serving us food,

housing my daughters 13th bday party,

keeping my kids,

and dropping by to hug us!!

it is just what the Father above ordered!!

so... where we are now?!?!?!



well we have two of the four taken care of...

Wendell is with the Ribas and

Erik is home with us...

BUT... there are two more to go...

so the journey continues to move forward.

our family is making the arrangements for all...

 but scott, patrick and jordan to return to 

pick up the remainder of our family...

 Chloe and Emily. 

its been hard to accept a split down the middle of our family

for... ? we don't know how long...

but i know SO MANY of you have made the sacrifice

many times as military families...

so you understand way beyond what i do :)

i have to be honest and tell you i was worried...

about our resolve once we fell back into our

comforts... our known.

all the way home i kept rehearsing the truth

as i understood it of what God had called us to.

as i slept in my bed... i rehearsed...

as i enjoyed the air condition... i rehearsed..

as i took long hot showers... i rehearsed...

as i drove my car and everyone had a seat and a seat belt... i rehearsed...

as i ate food i liked and drank COLD drinks... i rehearsed...

as i went into a different bathroom than the kids... i rehearsed...

as i flushed toilet paper... i rehearsed...

as i hugged my friends and enjoyed texts... i rehearsed...

as i enjoyed the comforts of a refrigerator.. i rehearsed...

as i watched a movie with my family on a tv instead of a tiny computer monitor

hooked to a laptop... i rehearsed...

as i understood the conversations around me... i rehearsed...

as i actually had meds to comfort my arthritis... i rehearsed..

i am sinner saved by grace and i LOVE my comforts...

so i have to rehearse God's truth again and again!!

something i was reminded of when all my comforts were stripped away...

PEOPLE is what Jesus came for not stuff!!

my life is to be about loving God with all i am

and loving others as myself...

whatever that looks like :)

for us...

it will be an extended stay an ocean away!

Praise God...

 He has a great BIG plan...

but is aware of our families weaknesses...

so we only see the limited parts He allows us to see

when He decides we are ready!!

"When God gives me a vision of truth, there is never a question of what He will do,

but only of what i will do."  Oswald Chambers

so... life as we know it is...

honestly i'm not sure :)

we are simply surviving...

moving forward as God guides our steps...

clinging to Him every step of the way!

tomorrow i spend the day with lifeline determining

what the days ahead looks like :)

please pray for us ALL as we adjust to our new normal...

that God will be glorified every step of the way!!



Bumpy curvy roads!

Well here I sit at 2 am in the morning in a hotel in Rio! Not at all what I expected for today's final picture. We were supposed to be on the 10:28 pm flight to Miami... But God had different plans. I won't go into the grim details of the day... But I will say it has been emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting from beginning to end. It's interesting what bubbles to the surface when life takes a sudden bumpy turn... Today has held frustration, irritation, fear and doubt; All of which I am ashamed of, as I reminience and review the Lords gracious provisions yet again. I want bore you with long details but I do want to share verses from my quite time this morning that had grabbed my attention as i journaled and i made an entry in my Bible concerning it... It was from Psalms 143, penned by David, "Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground.". VS. 8b and 10 Here is the excerpt from my Bible concerning it... "7/3/12 Rio to Huntsville... Today begins the journey home...this is where my fear and faith collide... Please give me the strength to stay true to your will." God already knew I'd be sitting here tonight... So He gave me a memorial of my commitment... Because I forget so fast! When the road takes sharp turns and the bumps get over bearing ... I am just like Peter and take my eyes off Jesus. And I quickly turn into Thomas doubting Gods sovereignty! I am weak but praise Him that HE IS STRONG! So while we are on the topic... I minus well let you in on the other big detour... We are home for a very short visit (that's if we can get there)... then we will be in residence in our rental back in Belem for a while. We will be a split family for a while until the girls adoption is final.... Which is a several months process. However, after having been gone for 6 weeks and experiencing what we have... Seeing what we've seen... And hearing from my babies what I've heard... Months are nothing compared to seeing someone trust for the first time, or feel loved or feel protected! Or being able to pray with them, or tuck thier covers around them all the while pointing them to Gods unfathomable love! Yeah the road is sure bumpy and its got a ton of sharp curves... But I wouldn't trade it! Im just just a passenger along for the ride! It's Gods story, I just got a front seat view. And it's amazing! But I'd be lying if I didn't say that at times I get faint of heart! Please keep praying that we'd swerve with Him every curve of the way... bringing Him Glory!