Saturday, February 11, 2012

life is messy...

the other day i put a cake on the table, an open container of icing beside it and a spreader in it... nodded towards Gracie and mouthed... "have a good time, it's all you :)"  with wide eyed amazement the other members of our clan watched... once finished i snapped a photo of the the finished product... a masterpiece!


(what you cannot see in the pic is all the pieces of the torn up cake :) mixed in with the icing!) 

now if truth be told... by others standards it probably wasn't the prettiest cake ever iced, but to us it was... we could of guided her hand and steadied the spreader... but we didn't...  we could of stood over her and corrected her technique... but we didn't... we liked it as it was...  and REALLY how much fun is perfect anyway??  underneath all that mess... it was amazing!

i'm beginning to believe this in life as well... how much fun is perfect anyway?  it is WAY OVERRATED!

i am embarrassed to admit... but for a lot of years we tried to put on the perfect front... allowing others to see the perfect house, perfect clothes, perfect smile, perfect yard, perfect marriage, perfect kids... what a JOKE!  we protected our perfection with as much comforts and security as money could buy... keeping most at arms length because what would they think of our chaos and mess...

well we got over it... we are one BIG OL MESS!  AND TRUTHFULLY WE LOVE IT!  it so freeing to just let others in... to let them see the big, the fat and the ugly of it all... the imperfections of us and our kids and our household... the trials and the tribuations... our mistakes and our faults... the ridiculous chaos of our home! 

and you know what we've found... as imperfect as it all is... no one would doubt that ours is a house full of love and lots of laughter... and a STRIVING to live out the gospel... although we fall short and in our humanity cause a lot of mess... we are certain of, and cling to, the fact that without Jesus we are nothing, but with Him something good can come from our imperfections!

the messiness of this adoption has been SO amazing!  i know that is a wierd statement... but i mean it... it has been hard, emotional, overwhelming, tiring and exciting all at the same time!  without the many mountains we have had to climb and continue to scale i know i would not have clung to the Lord so hard... so i can say with certainty that the mess has been worth it... i wouldn't trade a minute of it... because underneath all the mess, the unpredictability, the uncertainty and the wait... God has been working on a masterpiece... a heart that is closer in tune with His!

we are coming to the cross roads in this journey... we are about to go from planning the adventure to embarking on it... and honestly... it is a little scary what lies ahead!  within the next two weeks we are supposed to have everything done to file our last papers... so soon we should have some kind of travel idea:)  so God in HIS INFINITE WISDOM has decided we need more time to prepare for our family reunion...  as hard as it is... He knows best and we rest in that!

the only thing i can say for sure today as our journey begins to take a turn is this... our boys lives are MESSY... so they'll fit perfectly into our MESS of a family... how good is our God!!!!





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