A New Year...

last night i laid in bed tossing and turning until sometime after 3 a.m.

i was assaulted again and again with my failures as a parent.

at one point i left the bed and hit the floor face down before the Lord...

begging for His guidance and relief. 

we have faced so many "NEWS" this past year in parenting.

i cannot count on fingers and toes how many times we have said...

"did that really happen?"

nothing prepared us for the trials we dealt with behind the doors this past year...

but God faithfully walked us through it. 

this year we got a front row seat to the fact that as faithful as our God is... 

the enemy is as equally relentless.

he just keeps shooting arrows in the shadows, hoping for a chance to bring us down,

to tire us out, to bring us low on our belief of a better day.

and for some reason... last night he seemed to have gotten my number. 

how is it you can go from a Christmas morning overwhelmed with gratitude

for all that we have been blessed with: (sorry for the blur)

to laying in bed unable to sleep overwhelmed by failures???

A very real enemy that loves to prey on us.  

God specializes in making beautiful masterpieces out of our messes,

failures and weaknesses.  

and the truth is: the enemy has no real power over me, except what i allow him to have.

i have the chance every second of every day to choose God's voice,

over the world, other people and certainly the enemy. 

Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. 

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

Maybe you don't need a reminder but i sure did as i rolled out of bed this am...

GOD IS ON OUR SIDE.

as we enter into this new year, we can enter it with complete belief that 

He is on our side.  we can cast our burdens onto Him and He will carry them for us!

That is enough to excite me about this brand new year...

 and help me ride the waves of trial as we journey through it :)

Happy 2015!

so very thankful!

i am thankful for a God who loves us...

and for the gift of time He continues to lavish on us!

this holiday season i am focusing on not taking a moment of it for granted :)

i am so thankful for the ability to travel to Guatemala to make new friends...

i am so thankful for those new friends that have a piece of our hearts...

i am thankful for longtime friends we have been blessed with...

i am thankful for laughter around the table...

i am so thankful for food on the table...

and someone to cook it...

and i am incredibly thankful for lots of people to hug through the day...

thankful, thankful, thankful!

 

some days are better than others...

whether a good day or bad one, i am thankful for them all!

 

the joy of seeing that they get it...

we are the family that has more issues and counselors than you can count on one hand.

i spend more than a few hours in varying principals offices in a week.

we are constantly in the spotlight (and not a positive one).

we come in a pack and we are chaotic and noisy.

yep, you know who we are :)

there have been times that not only have i doubted we would arrive at graduation from HS,

or movement to the next grade, but i have doubted arriving to a new dawning of the day. 

we are, have been and will continue to be a mess.

How thankful i am that i serve a God that "messes" are His specialty.  

i have clung to the verse over the years from Proverbs 22:6:

"Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old

he will not depart from it."

all the tears, frustration, crazy creative discipline, prayer,

prayer meetings and counseling sessions are all cherished 

all the mornings, afternoons and evenings of dragging them along 

to serve others as they rolled eyes, fussed and complained

are also funny memories now...

as i look into the lives of our growing children. 

perfect?  are you kidding?  

good behavior? depends on the day.

attitude?  constant struggle!

developing into their own person?  absolutely!

 and i continue to cling to the verse :)

i don't know what happens tomorrow, and i don't need to,

because honestly all i can hold on to is the present, which is today.

and for today it is fun to watch them choose to follow in some passions of our heart.  

i find joy following jordyn as God grows her up an ocean away as 

she serves the children of Guatemala with an open heart and attentive ear.

i find joy watching skyler as she chooses to use her gifts to give to others...
and seek to know Him more as she serves. 

i find joy sitting in morning prayer time and watching each of our kids as they are
working through their own belief system.
some have had longer to watch and be actively involved in serving others, prayer and
 talks about the Lord and are now choosing their own way.
others don't have as much time under their belt, so we continue to train!

we all live life each day as an example to watching eyes and impressionable hearts! 
some of what i've taught, i wish i could take back.
other things, i'm grateful they grabbed hold of!

letting go.. is never easy!

dropping my 18 year old at the airport this am was hard.

not because she is not ready... because she is... not because it was early... although it was...

but because it was time to let go!

 

letting go is hard, especially to something i hold dear...

even if its time :)

jordan is a gift.  a gift given by God the Father.  

a gift never intended for me to keep, but to raise up in His ways...

and then to let go, so He could take her further than i ever could. 

she has landed in guatemala and her new life journey has begun.  

watch for updates at www.journeywithjordyn.blogspot.com.

 

please keep her in your prayers as she seeks to know Him more!

learning to love well...

i constantly think about what i want to be when i grow up...

and i find that most often... my answers look alot like my children. 

as messed up, confused and frustrating as they can be...

i couldn't be more proud of them. 

we are one year and a half behind our last adoption 

and it is beginning to feel a little settled again. 

everyone (including me) is learning how to love one another...

in the way that speaks to them.

this kind of love can be overwhelming, because,

 it often doesn't feel normal and comes at a cost.

it is taxing, tiring and down right hard at times...

but it is worth it. 

the last few months have ran together...

in august... all eight went in 4 different directions.

patrick to back to birmingham southern

jordan preparing for her internship in guatemala

5 to private school

and one to public school:

 and skyler turned 15 and started driving:

then jordan and i traveled with a group to Haiti to love on the babies:

in september stephen turned 15:

 and jordan decided God was leading her to mississippi college after guatemala:

 

and now its october and emily just turned 13:

 and jordan leaves tomorrow for her internship!

in each and every situation and life circumstance...

loving has looked different. 

we haven't done it perfect, or in some cases even great,

however, we did do it!

we have loved the best we know how...

the only way we know how...

with time and presence...

laughter and tears...

joy and sorrow...

chocolate and caffeine...

hugs and kisses...

lots of counseling...

Holding onto to Jesus day by day! 

we still have lots to learn...

but we are willing students :)