so it's been a week since the last update....
because i am simply trying to wrap my mind around my emotions...
which have been all over the place.
i just have to be honest and say...
God used a 47 day visit to another country...
a 47 day visit outside my comforts...
a 47 day visit into millions of others
(that have been abandoned, deemed unlovable or overlooked)
everyday reality...
TO RADICALLY WRECK MY WORLD!
i truly will never be the same.
i have never known the richness of God SO CLOSE
as when i was bent low, lost to self,
caring for those others had chosen to overlook.
please understand i am not saying it from a prideful place...
because God knows that i am SELFISH...
and only did as He commanded!!
i am saying it from a broken place...
a place that has been exposed by God's goodness and grace!!
i never knew how selfish i was until God in His sovereignty
sent me many miles away to
face my need for excess
at the expense of anothers emptiness!
my heart aches!
SO WHAT NOW?
i am sitting before my Creator awaiting His response :)
WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE TRUTHS...
i no longer find joy in mapping out my days ahead and
asking for His stamp of blessing...
i no longer find satisfaction in sitting in my comfy
chair sipping from my bottled water while
millions of undeserving others have no clean water...
i no longer find joy in running to the mall to buy more clothes
when i have a closet of too many.. and i just had eyes on many with only
the ones on their backs...
i have come face to face with the emptiness of excess...
the very life i've created...
but not so proud of any longer!
as i was pondering all these thoughts...
i picked up a book...
(one of the MANY purchased yet laying beside my bed gathering dust)
by Jenn Hatmaker, entitled Interrupted...
i flipped open to a page and here is what i read...
"Forty percent of the world lacks basic water sanitation, resulting in disease, death, waste water for drinking and loss of immunity: Americans spent $16 billion on bottled water in 2008."
all i kept hearing in my Spirit again and again as i read these words is...
LeAnn...
The greatest commandment is...
LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL YOU ARE
AND
LOVE OTHERS AS YOURSELF...
CAN YOU DO THAT??
My answer...
I SURE WANT TOO LORD... BUT I AM SELFISH,
PLEASE CHANGE ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT!!
to truly love others the way i believe the Bible commands me...
is going to take some radical changing on my part...
and every piece of my humanity screams NO,
while the Spirit within me pushes me onward!!
to have tasted the deep richness of the Lord...
while in Brazil...
living in the trenches with those abandoned and destitute...
that He deems in such high regard,
has left me "wanting" upon my return to my comforts.
so as much as my humanity has loved having my comforts...
as much as i love my bed, my home and all that i know...
my Spirit is screaming for the closeness i knew when all was removed...
SO... given the choice before me...
i will choose to relinquish my comforts
for knowing Him more...
there is nothing else that even comes close!!
the kids and i will leave on August 3rd
for an extended stay to help Chloe and Emily...
find their way home...
not just worldly home....
their eternal forever home!!
and work in the shelters with many others
as God leads us to help them as well!
please pray that we would listen close
and He guides us!!
MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU (AND YOUR FAMILY) AND MAKE HIS FACE TO SHINE UPON YOU AND GIVE YOU PEACE. PRAYING FOR YOU ALL........
ReplyDeleteLINDA K.
LeAnn, you've been "radicalized!" The things that breaks God's heart breaks yours and spurs you and your family to action. Why is it that we (in America) are so blessed while others lack basic necessities? Is it because we are better than them, more righteous than them? Hardly. Perhaps He has blessed us so that we could bless others, thereby bringing glory to Himself by us showing the love and generosity of Christ to others. It is not to accumulate more and more stuff trying to fill the "God shaped void" that only He can fill. Also, as Matt Chandler points out in his book, "The Explicit Gospel," the blessings He gives us should point to Him and not terminate on themselves. He has given us taste buds and flavors to enjoy food, He made colors, sight, smell and touch to enjoy His creation. We have gotten it all backwards and worship creation rather than the creator. When we see a beautiful sunset, or mountain, or ocean it should remind us of God's power, goodness and majesty. When we enjoy a nice meal with friends, or have a lazy day in a comfy chair with a good book, or have day on the lake, it should point us directly to the One that provided these things. On the other hand, in this fallen world, if we are sold-out followers of Christ, it seems we cannot fully enjoy comforts and blessings knowing that many of our neighbors lack the basic necessities of life. Katie Davis talks about this guilt in her book "Kisses from Katie." As a teenager fresh out of high school, she moved to Uganda to care for orphans. She deals with it every time she returns to the wealthy Nashville community she grew up in to visit, then returns "home" to Uganda. We should channel this guilt to guide us to the path God has chosen for us and be comforted by the fact that we are in the center of His will when we are being obedient to His two greatest commands. Thank you, LeAnn, for the work you and your family are doing for the Kingdom and for the lives you are changing.
ReplyDeleteRobert Skidmore