So I slept til noon this morning...
I didn't go to sleep til 3,
But that part doesn't really matter.
As I made my way down the stairs,
And hit the last step into the sitting area...
3 very anxious kids looked up,
With a mix of hunger and worry!
I hugged them each and headed to the
Kitchen to make pancakes.
The heat is overwhelming!!
And i really disqust at the smell
of vinegar yet again... (used
To wash the fruit).
Everybody is finally full.
so we hand wash the dishes,
We sweep the floor chasing the ants,
We dodge Mosquitos (desperately trying to take us away),
We bring in the clothes off the line yet again...
And reposition the fans for air,
And then settle down for English.... Ugggggh!!
Chloe looks at me with frustration in her face,
And quite honestly... I'm just as frustrated!!
My thoughts go to... "Please just help me, help you!!"
Oh God, I need some patience!
I can see in her face... her fear, her fatigue and her
Loneliness in it all, her longing for what she knows...
And the only thought I can muster is....
I feel the same way too!!
I'm the grown up... What is wrong with me!!
I want to reassure her that all will be ok,
But she doesn't understand a word I say...
A 15 yr old and a 44 year old trying
Desperately to love Gods way...
So we stare, and I eventually get up and run to the
Only comfort I know...Gods Word!
I drink iced tea yet again (a comfort from home)
as i repeat again and again... Philippians 4:4-6...
"Rejoice in The Lord always, I will say it again rejoice.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by
Prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your
Requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends
All understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds
In Jesus Christ."
Again I breathe in the deep truth, exhale and say it out loud...
"I can do all things thru Him who gives me strength,
Nothing is too difficult with Him on my side,
He is enough and will see us through,
I BELIEVE you Lord!!"
My surrender moves to a new level :)
This life is just not about me... It's about Him.
And He is all about love and relationship...
And I can forget that when all my comforts are challenged!
One life radically changed is the essence of the gospel...
It should be the essence of my life as well!
This trip has wrecked my being..
Turned me upside down and kept me on my knees...
It's hard but glorious!
it has ripped my character at its core
and challenged me in ways I thought Impossible... BUT...
it has grown my Love and Need of God like nothing else!
I don't want to miss today wishing for tomorrow...
So I'll settle in, sweat some more and desperately
Try to show my little treasures a tiny glimpse into
The love of God!
Thanks for holding me up in this battle friend,
I need you!
I adore Him and love you!!
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